Jake's Clever Banter 3/19/02 - An update for the sake of updating No new strip just yet, I'm afraid. Tim was doing really great for a bit there, but that might have just been because he wanted to get the hell out of thaty story arc, and now that we're 100% free and clear, maybe he's taking a much-deserved break. Idunno. In any case, I've got so much stuff to get off my back I have to talk about it. For starters, news. I'm gonna' have to stop reading IGN's reviews because even though I know I can't trust them, they give me hope. Take Gunvalkyrie for the XBox, for example. Every other website that's talked about it seems to say that the controls are a bitch and that it virtually ruins an otherwise great game. IGN spins that as a positive thing, intentionally making the game difficult and challenging. And I'm stuck in the middle, torn between my want to try a game that looked like it was gonna' be reeeeeeeeally good, and the knowledge that I probably won't like it. What to do, what to do... On the flipside, there's this confusing little thing with Sega's other new game for the Gamecube called Soccer Slam. When I first heard about it, I rolled my eyes and looked for something interesting to read about, but Sega's weird "Freaks playing soccer" game seems to be getting VERY good word-of-mouth. I mean, I just don't GET it- it's just a SOCCER game! But then, Tony Hawk was JUST a skateboarding game and Virtua Tennis was JUST a tennis game. In any case, it's looking interesting. And that brings us to the Gamecube. With the PS2 at full blast and the XBox picking up steam, the Gamecube seems to be playing a game of two steps forward, one step backwards. We get good news about Nintendo and Square, then we get bad news about Star Fox Adventures being put off until the end of the year. Good, Sega's Soccer Slam. Bad, Yuji Naka complaining about Nintendo not being ready to go online. And now, good news about the Res Evil remake being released fairly soon. Although this bodes slightly better than the "Absolutely nothing until June or July" like the Gamecube was looking like, the "Carrot dangling from a stick" situation is not a whole hell of a lot better. With the PS2 gearing up it's online plans and Microsoft pulling every franchise imaginable out of it's PC stable (Midtown Madness 3 and Crimson Skies 2 were recently confirmed for XBox release, with Mechwarrior believed to be only steps behind). By comparison, it seems like Nintendo is virtually giving the console wars to it's competitors. "Yeah, we don't really care. I mean, we're still the kings of the universe as far as we're concerned, so what else matters?" I just hope they don't get their wake-up call the same way Sega did. Meantime, I've found myself taking in a few classics lately. I've finally gotten around to playing two games I've had for a while but haven't had time for- Aqua Aqua and Dark Cloud. Aqua Aqua is the Playstation 2 remake of Wetrix, which also appeared on the N64 and Dreamcast (Neither of which I had time to play). Anyways, the game has all the makings of a truly great puzzle game, but the camera is so intrusive as to turn what would have been an outstanding game into a so-so one. Dark Cloud is another story. It's a pity this one didn't sell better (Although the "Greatest Hits" $25 re-release should give it another chance), but I think people were dissapointed when they found out it wasn't really like Zelda, but more like Diablo. Well, actually, more like Diablo meets Zelda meets Simcity. Yeah, weird. But the game is very addictive, and the $25 price tag it'll be sporting later this month will definetly be worth it. As long as you can ignore the TERRIBLE plot, unmemorable music, and the fact that it's... well, more like Diablo than Zelda, then you'll find the combat and town-building parts of the game are very engaging and fun, and more than make up for it's small shortcomings. Also, I've watched the first DVD of Nadia, and I must say, I've finally found another series I think I can love. Ever since finishing Evangelion and Cowboy Bebop I've been looking for one. Lain was certainly not what I was looking for (It doesn't screw with your mind like Perfect Blue, and isn't some grand gesture of symbolism like Evangelion- it just stays completely and totally indecipherable the WHOLE TIME), and although Trigun looks interesting, it doesn't exactly excite me. Nadia, on the other hand, has very endearing characters, an interesting plot (So far, at least), and overall, I can't wait to see more. Exactly what I was looking for. And as soon as I get me Star Trek Next Gen set, I'll be a very happy (And very poor) guy. 3/15/02 - Holy Sh- Hey, you. Yeah, you. Check out this website right now and download the videos. Tell me, seems slightly sub-standard graphics for Playstation games, right? What if I told you this was a 3D engine for the Gameboy Advance? No joke- the gaming community is in awe. GB Rally Advance has been on release lists for some time, and I remember noting how awesome it's screenshots looked, but all the while knowing that something like this had to make the framerates take a hit. These movies prove me wrong. I was VERY impressed by the GBA's 3D capabilities in the Tony Hawk games, but this is leaps and bounds beyond all that. For all intents and purposes, we're looking at nearly Playstation-quality 3D graphics. THAT, in a system that was supposed to be for all intents and purposes a portable SNES, is very, VERY impressive. If these guys can really do what they claim they can do, it could usher in a whole new era on portable game systems that we otherwise probably wouldn't have seen for years. People are talking about N64 ports, for crissakes! In other gaming news, people are still recovering from the shock of the Nintendo-Square announcement, and supposedly it looks like the most likely releases are Gamecube and GBA RPGs based on their Final Fantasy Unlimited anime (Reputedly to make use of the GBA-to-Gamecube link cable that currently only Sonic Adventure 2 Battle/Sonic Advance makes use of), ports of FFV and FFVI to the GBA and, interestingly enough, a port of Final Fantasy Tactics to GBA. These two events combined, along with a few smaller events (Such as the extremely impressive-looking screens of Mario Tennis on the Gamecube), certainly help to renew my hope for Nintendo.Had you asked me last week this time, I would have told you they were almost certainly doomed. After all this, there seems to be a good glimmer of hope, although they still have a long, rough road ahead- most of it right now, with no original titles in sight until mid-year. If Nintendo can worm their way out of the extremely huge slump they're in right now, and play their cards right, then maybe, MAYBE, they could make the biggest comeback the videogame industry has ever seen.. On the other sides of the fence, early reports have Herdy Gerdy as a very good-looking and interesting game with a terribly bad camera. I've played good games with bad cameras, so that's no biggie- so long as it IS a good game. Also, I've picked up Rallisport, and I have to say, it both meets and falls short of my expectations. Granted, I had very high expectations for it, but I get the feeling it doesn't always meet it's full potential. Graphically, it's somewhat comparable to Project Gotham on ice and snow- By comparison (Again) to Gran Turismo 3, it's much more detailed and often more aesthetically pretty, but it never seems to reach the same level of realism. Gameplay-wise, it's not much like either- not quite as fun in an arcadey kind of way as Project Gotham, and it's not even remotely as deep as Gran Turismo. Which places it in the "I'm afraid I'll get bored with it rather quickly" category. That's not to say it's a bad game- On the contrary, it's VERY good. It's just not my type of game. And to draw a parallel, as much as you try to sell me on how great Tekken and Soul Calibur are, I'll always love DOA and Rival Schools more. And apparently, I've been unconscious all this time, because I didn't realize that the release of the Star Trek Next Gen 1st season on DVD is right around the frickin' corner! Jebus, why wasn't I informed!? And after that, they're going to release the following seasons on a bi-monthly basis? YES! Now just bring the DS9, Simpsons, and Futurama releases with them, and I'll own prettymuch everything I ever loved about my TV set. It's too bad the sucker will cost anywhere between $85-150 (Depending where I get it), but then, there's a lot of episodes in a season of Star Trek, so I won't be complaining. And yeah, I didn't think Next Gen found it's niche until around the time Riker grew a goatee, but I'm a psycho for complete sets, so I can justify ordering a season or two I wasn't thrilled with. Let's see... $85 times... what was it, seven seasons? Yikes... Oh, and for those still reading the incredibly long rant, we are now officially out of the Evangelion arc. That also makes me very happy. Don't worry guys, I've been working REALLY hard to make the next story arc a bit more interesting. 3/11/02 - Happy Birthday to me. No no, I'm not just screwing with your minds like Tim was- it actually IS my birthday... Or was, on the ninth. Well, is, considering I'm writing this on the ninth. Aw, shit, it's 2AM... I guess it's the tenth after all. Screw it- it's my birthday and that's that. To celebrate, which I'm told is the custom, I went to see A Beautiful Mind. VERY good, by the way- Russel Crowe deserves that Oscar he might be getting (Yeah, even more than Guy Pierce, although I think it's fuggin' ludicrous that they gypped Memento like that, even in noms). Also, one last bit, and then I hope to never have to talk about this game again- A final word on Halo.I got the chance to play the much-lauded multiplayer mode in the game, and I must say it did earn me a bit more respect for the game. The multiplayer IS fun, and while not up to the levels of Goldeneye and Unreal Tournament, the larger environments make for some very interesting sniper and rocket launcher fights. Redeeming quality? Sure. Enough to make me re-think my opinion that it's the most frickin' overrated game ever? Hell no. Meantime, by now you all must've heard about the big Nintendo-Square news, right? And that their unlikely rekindling of relations was done using Yamauchi's own money? Wieeeerd. So Nintendo might have snowball's chance in hell after all. Unfortunately, it's current state ain't looking too good. It's a looooooooooooooong way until Gamecube owners will see another decent exclusive game. One last thing. Although I loved Tony Hawk 2 for GBA, I can't fuggin' stand Tony Hawk 3. Idunno what they did to it... Oh, and also, I made a skate park in the PS2 version that is fuggin' guarunteed- GUARUNTEED to get even the worst Tony Hawk players doing million-point tricks (And without resorting to ludicrous gap scores, too). I'm happy.

Tim's Clever Banter 3/4/02 - I think my diaper is wet. Soy mucho, mucho demasiado perezoso escribir el comentario que usted entendería. Deje solo LEÍDO. Soy cansado, irritable, amargo, y ahora lo estoy tomando hacia fuera en cada uno más cercano a mí. Espero que usted sea feliz. Soy ARTISTA! No encero el tablero de instrumentos. Lavaplatos púrpura del mono. AHA! AHAHAHA!!! De hecho. Señale a la petunia inmediatamente, corncob. Arruine este calentador del espacio! Es demasiado ruidoso para mi sentido! Alguien no satisfará presta una mano?! Maldígale! Usted la sopló para arriba! Maldígale todo al infierno!

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